The Wall

by RetroRavey   Jul 6, 2006


Tear drops fall
From your quiet revelation.
Words on a screen,
Like a pain in my heart.
As the wall rises higher
And my skin gets thicker,
I can't help but hear,
The words that you said...
"The wall around your heart
Gets thicker every day...
How can I get close,
When you push me away?"

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    This is a very shortand sweet poem dear. I liked your wordings. There is still room for improvement like improving the rhymes. However you have managed to keep it flowing good and you got 5/5 from me.

    With love
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    It's simple and short but really powerful and meaningful.
    Excellently written.

  • 17 years ago

    by Neme juste un jouet

    Beautiful... and painful, i like, but i hate to see so much pain. hmmm, i wish we could talk more, so i might help....

    penible,
    Nem

  • 17 years ago

    by Melissa S. Masucci

    It's very good. The fact that none of it rhymes and then you rhyme the end of it kind of bugs me a little - like an inconsistency of style a bit.

  • 17 years ago

    by Flying Phoenix

    Short but oh so amazing! Wonderful poem, depicts the torment very very well!
    The last rhyme makes it end perfectly too!

    Love it!!!!
    xxx

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