I cut again

I just cant take it anymore
its just so hard
after 4 months now
i dropped my gaurd
as i feel the pain
go deep in my skin
i remember all those i promised
but i still give in
i let the blood
fall to the floor
though it hurts
i still want more
im trying to hide it
so no one knows
but soon the marks
start to show
its no ones fault
but my own
and i remember that
when they leave me alone
but its so hard
when all i want is to feel
just one more chance
to feel real
its so hard
after 4 months now
i dropped my gaurd

1-17-06