Sitting Here

Sitting here,
Confused, sad, happy, bored.
Thinking of you,
What am I doing?
This isn't fair to him,
But my heart is hurting.
I am yearning,
Yearning for something.
Just want to go,
Go away far, far away.
Forget the past,
Forget the future.
Live for now...
Why is that so hard?
I am so unhappy,
So is he.
He hides it better than me.
Wanting to scream,
Wanting to bleed.
What am I doing?

ctc 7-20-06