My Evanescence

There they are just joking and laughing
and nobody seems to care
that I'm locked away, just sitting
alone and playing with my hair.

They'll never find me now.
I am through many doors.
They think that I don't know,
but that's why I'm hiding, of course.

Each attempt that I try
to make my existence be known,
they're always there to help
my confidence and bravery be thrown.

Behind my back, I watch
for silhouettes, shadows, and silence,
because all I ever hear are whispers
and I pray hard for my evanescence.

Slurred voices and blurred faces
are what I perpetually see
and they just walk on by not wanting
nor caring to see me for me.

They don't make eye contact
or even stop to say, "Hi!".
I know their true intentions
and there's no need to ask why.

They don't come straight up to say it,
but that's expected of them:
to be cowardly and worthless pigs,
not daring to step out of their pen.

And so I ditch God and run
away from the pain, humiliation, and tears,
creating my own evanescence
that I've been praying for all these years.