Save my soul

I want everything like it used to be,
i remember my parents holding me in there arms, and when they were happy.
as i watch old movies and look at old photos of my old life, i cry. i scream and yell and demand to have my old life back. but i know that one day it wont matter anyways, ill soon enough die. i would cut after fights to make the pain i was thinking of go away. i cant talk to my friends about the things ive been thru, for i have not said anything at all. i talked to my friends on an ordinary rainy day, they ask me what is troubleing me, i say..nothing would ever be the same as it used too be,
i am to old to be held in my parents arms, they are deffinetly not happy, i cannot look at pictures or video\'s because i cannot bare the pain, cutting now is almost a habbit, for i always have to have my knives in sight and even cary one in my purse, i cannot talk to my friends.. i then look up and nobody is there. my friends have left and i was right, they couldnt take it. and i was just about to tell them why i am sad. now all that is left, is just my dead body in the rain..will anybody ever save my soul?

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