The love that i will never have

You take care of me when I'm sick. you listen to every word i say. you are always there for me, just about every single day. You can always tell when i am feeling down. You bring me up and u keep me alive from the never ending days. You used to be mine but i threw it all away. and i picked up the gun once a day saying this is the last day. She tells me to stop and find some help. But i cant get away from all the pain i put it up to my head one last time and the pain goes all away.