I wish I wasn't me

I've lived for so long in fear
I wonder what it is to be free
I look around and wish
I wasn't me

So many steps of this journey
have been wrought with angst and pain
that each time I'm knocked down,
it's so hard to get up again.

It sometimes makes me curious
why it is that none can see
how I struggle to live in this world
God, how I hate being me

People focus on the little things,
things that really don't matter,
instead of giving and loving,
in the darkness they prefer to gather.

I can't stand all the aggression,
it hurts me deep inside
my little girl curls up in pain
from the world she wants to hide.

My heart aches from the sadness,
my ears, I wish, were deaf,
so I couldn't hear the anguish,
that leaves me so bereft.

Under the facade of smiles,
of laughter and joking too,
I'm ready for the ever after
there's nothing more I can do.

Coz people prefer the darkness,
it's too hard to love and care,
so why would I want to go on,
I wait until the day - thank God, when I am no longer here.