I am about to explode

All of a sudden things are no longer easy to handle.
It is not possible to just grit your teeth and smile.

I have this tight ball of anger seething inside.
It's getting bigger and stronger and making me lose my mind.

I want to scream and cry at every hurdle.
I want to tantrum and break things and be a vandal.

I want everyone to disappear, pack up and go inside.
All I want to do is curl up in a ball and hide.

People don't make sense anymore, they have all changed.
Are they still the same friends I had a second ago, or am I the one deranged?

I don't know how you are still calm and sitting there.
Can you see the room spinning or do you just not care?!?

I know the problem is in me, I take a few deep breaths.
I'm waiting but nothing is changing except the rhythm of my chest.

I want to 50/50, ask the audience and call a friend.
But none of these help, I'm still going around the bend.

I don't want to be a statistic; I don't want to be the same.
But if I don't fix this, it will happen again and again.

I feel as if I am on the brink, I am going to explode.
Or will I just turn to stone, sit in the wind and erode?