Dear Ryan,-Written on June 2nd of 2006

Dear Ryan, Written on June 2nd of 2006

When the world feels like its breaking down,
Where do we turn?
Where do we run?
When all of our problems start getting to us,
why run again?
I dont wanna run anymore.
But how do I cope?
How do I really face them without
the fear of failing again.
Life is a continueless dangerous game,
we wont get out of alive, even if we tried.
A continuing game with so many wrong turns,
and so few rights.
I hate the people who think their past
of wrong doings can be pushed aside.
Of course you had your wrong turns
and I had mine.
But we take the past and use it to put us
on the right track for the future.
We make use of it.

Can I please ask you something?
Did you ever think of how bad
Grandma and I were going to miss you,
when you went out drinking and doing drugs?
Did you ever think of how I lay awake in my bed,
waiting for the door to lock?
So I could soundly sleep,
knowing your safe.
Why did you choose what you chose?
Without you here,
I'm never complete anymore.
And never will be Ryan,
until your finally here,
With grandma and me!