The flood

Pointless thoughts tumble through my head
not sure what i'm gonna do, where i'll tread
a cold night wind pushes into my face like a thousand needles
october nights always seem to have that certain bite
walking in a field trying to forget my problems, my life
tonight i was caught up with myself, trying to find some sort of key
lost in all these flooding thoughts of suicide
my face is becoming numb from the cold
just as my emotions have become numb from the pain
so deep in thought, i hardly noticed
the pills started to take hold
i stood still until i hit the spinning ground
i lie here waiting for everything to stop moving all around
can't understand what's going on in my own screwed up world
my eyes are wide open, but i am losing focus on all these flowers i have stained with my blood
is it my loss of blood that is making me this way
or is it all those sleeping pills i took after 3:00am
lying here in the grass, i have lost all sense of time
have i been here five minutes or an hour?
it was then when i decided it was time
leaning to the side to unsheathe the knife, the knife that helped me through so many other times
this time it is to be used for the last time
pushing it deep into my neck
gashing my neck open from ear to ear
gasping for air, choking as i drown from my own blood
oh what a beautiful flood...of blood.