All i want is to live...

I have made a new friend, very nice, very close, my very own,
Its name I dont know, but loneliness is by what it is known.

We spend all times together; it stays by my side always,
I am sure whatever happens, it wont leave me in any case.

Sometimes I think, sometimes I wonder,
Was this already planned by God, or is it a mere blunder.

Everything happens for good I know,
Should I keep quiet thinking all this so.

I am a mere human; I cannot fight divine decisions,
I know God rules our lives with lots of precision.

He must have thought something good for me,
There would be a rainbow beyond the clouds I see.

I dont need diamonds, I dont need gold,
Just few moments of happiness untold.

Is it wrong if I want to live in land where there is no pain,
Just a little peace, else these tears will turn me insane.

I know I might sound like complaining,
Believe me, its just an effort for sustaining.

I know its bad to ditch good friends,
But this loneliness will make my life end.

I am not a sadist and I dont want to be one,
I want to live this life, I dont want to run.