Game of Life

Those memories so hard to think of
so I place them high on that shelf
Can I pretend you havent gone
or am I just kidding myself?

Apparently Im suppose to get better
but im really just trying to adapt
Get used to this life without you
I cant get over feeling so trapped

When my mind opens up
and the truth slowly seeps in
its a load I sometimes cannot bear
I dont know where to begin??

I take on this life daily
but feels Ive only caused you shame
if I had you here as motivation
would this all still feel the same?

Was I supposed to lose you when I did
and if so, why?
Its way beyond frustrating
Why should you have been the one that died?

If life is merely a game
and we all have a role
Im cursing God for keeping me in
and for you being the one he stole

At least if I knew
What God had in store
I could plan to salvage whats left
Til I see if there is really more.

I hope you are up there
and that this is all worth the wait
I pray you are there to greet me
when I waltz through Heaven's gate.