I have not been myself in quite a long while
I guess I'm still learning how if feels to smile
Going down the same road twice
And trying to give up that 'oh so bad for me' vice
Everything is harder this second time around
Sometimes I need help picking myself off the ground
Ive seen to have been lying low for so long
Trying to figure out how it all went so wrong
A million little pieces to be picked up off the floor
Sometimes I think my heart that is no more
Can something so damaged ever be rebuilt
Or is forever never ending when I feel so much guilt?
I know its not all my fault how things turned out
But I still curse this life and what its been about
I can see a future and sporadic happiness
Some secrets will remain as I will never confess
Ill look at your photos displayed on my wall
Even though your not here can you be when I fall?
But is knowing, not seeing, the same in the end?
Cause this way Ive been dealing I cannot recommend
Ill make sure I'm real tired when I fall asleep
When your in my dreams those new memories I need
Ill pray for you to show your face when I close my eyes
That those dreams are filled with love and no goodbyes
