Forever (rewritten)

by Brittany C   Oct 17, 2006


Hold my hand,
Don't be sad,
Everything will be alright,
Look at me in the eye,
and tell me you'll be alright.

We must be strong
for the nights are long.
Just hold me tight every night
to help keep our dreams in sight.

It may be hard now,
but we can get through it.
I'll stay by your side
through the rising tide
until the end of time.

Our love is strong,
it will last however long we want.
We will always be together baby
forever.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Cara

    I really like this one. nice use of rhyme.
    it was very sweet.
    you are a great writer, and this poem really shows that.
    well done.
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Vanessa

    This was good deep emtion really heartfelt, the flow was alright, and the word choice was good, I can't think of any thing to add that hasn't already been said, except keep up the good work 4/5

  • 12 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    For the nighs are long,
    `For the nights are long

    To help keep our dreams in sight,
    `I love that line ! Can totally relate :)

    Okay, so I don`t like how you repeated some words again right after they were used in a previous stanza, or a couple lines back . It just scerwd up my flow & everything, BUT, the poem was sweet , and honestly not that bad .
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 12 years ago

    by Victoria Rainey

    Very sweet and touching... but it just feels that the rhymes are forced.. though.. but it shows that you're trying to be creative and showing all your effort into this.. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    Nice simple write,some of the rhyming was i little of flow maybe forced but very sweet. welldone xxx alex xxx

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