I feel alive

My fingers on the keys,
I havenâ??t written for a while
I remember the last time
But I donâ??t want to smile

I find myself wondering,
Why I was afraid
Of the life I was living,
Of the friends I had made.

I wish I could cry,
The way that I used to,
Wish I could remember,
What it drove me to do.

Iâ??m glad I have changed,
Iâ??m glad I can feel
I remember who I was before,
But it just doesdoesn't seem real.

Iâ??m not the same person
Itâ??s not me anymore.
I feel so alive,
Stepped into the light,
Stepped through the door

I still feel lonely,
But I donâ??t want to die.
I still feel sadness,
And yes, donâ??t want to cry.

But I donâ??t feel the need,
The need to cause harm
I donâ??t see the point,
Of tearing up my arm

I still think of death,
And know its round the next bend.
But who knows when that is,
Who knows when itâ??s the endâ?¦?