Destroyed

It is when i have hit rock bottom that all these images roll through.
Oh yes, it is you, the one i really, really, want to hate.
Why does this have to be so hard for me?
That is what I have been pondering all this time.

You make me want to hate who i am,
You make me want to tatter my face, leaving it all to ashes.
Feeling as if i am just not good enough for you,
because i know, you were and still are, the best for me.

As i swallow these little objects,
It doesn't last long, but i guess it does well for the time being.
As these liquids swim through my body,
I want more and more to drown you out.

You gave me life just as fast as you took it away,
Ripping everything i had, leaving it to pieces for me to clean up.
Just when i thought you were my escape,
I had no more exit doors to follow through when you dropped me dead.

I just thought for once, i was doing something right,
But once again, found that there is nothing for me here.

.:..paige maureen..:.