Dads gone

I once had a dad who was special as could be
But he ended his life Right infront of me
I didn't know what to do and didn't know what to say
But it effected me in every possible way

It happened a few years ago
But will always be with me
Why he did it, i don't know
Sometimes i think i should let it be

But the thought of it aches
Its just something i simple cant take
He did it with fire for all of us to see
Me and my family

We went to the hospital to watch him die
I sat in the room and didn't even cry
It really hurt inside but i wouldn't let it show
I tried to ignore it, i didn't want to know

But i sat there and watched, didn't shed a tear
I wanted to leave and didn't want to be there
I thought ahead about the year
What'd it be like without him there

Thats when it hit me and i started to cry
The next day i woke up and heard them say
Your father just passed away
I didn't wanna believe them, i wanted them to lie

I didn't wanna deal with that shit anymore
I wish they'd never had that fight
Nothing in your life always goes right
Ive heard it all before

But see I'm only 12 and he cant leave now
They say hes better off up in the sky
I don't wanna believe it...i don't know how
I just watched my father die

I wanted to be with with him, right by his side
Why'd he do it, why'd he commit suicide
Left us here to suffer and ache for many days
I know I'm going to change in many ways

All the way home, thoughts went through my head
A song came on the radio and made me think so more
I never knew what i was in for
I couldn't believe my dad was dead

No one said a word the next day at school
teachers gave me work and didn't say a thing
I don't think they knew what i had just seen
I didn't want to cry and look like a fool

No one was there for me, no one at all
There was no where to turn, no one to call
Not one person except for my very best friend
Who left me, so much for friends until the end

But I'm slowly leaving it behind
There's things in future wait for me to find
But dad i will always love you
And ill be thinking of you too