Why do i feel pain..maybe i dont ne more

Tired-beaten and deeply scarred
why does this life have to be so hard?

I'm furious sad and depressed

people look at me tell me I'm lucky-I'm blessed

they need to take a look inside of me
realize I'm fighting for me to be free

if only they knew the suffering of the past-tears full of hate

its taking over me i feel myself slowly beginning to deteriorate

i cant let go because the people of my past will be forgiven

something i cant do as long as I'm living

so i carry this burden painfully alone sadly my lifes fading away

people tell me to forget but i refuse to obey

so many people dont know me for who i am and how i feel

when I'm at school i act like my lifes not real

i escape when i study so then i forget it

but when i remember I'm throwed into turmoil of a fiery pit

I'm falling into lost hope and despair for my eternal days

I'm blind in the darkness of this haze

the beauty in life is slowly disappearing before my eyes

none hears my screams or cries

i wonder when i will breathe my last breath

i feel the peace of dark and its cloak of death

it welcomes me in open arms but I'm held back by a force stronger than my own will

its a feeling...a person desperately trying to help me heal

love that is given overpowers deaths closing cloak

I'm brought back to reality as i struggle through deaths thick smoke

the answers why this incredible force brought me back is unclear

the love and its power got me as my death was near

still i scream and i cry i mourn and i fade away to run and hide

you didn't see the signs so now a part of me has died

please open your crystal blue eyes and read the obvious signs that i show

i have feelings and I'm human i love you back too i just wanted you to know

i test you constantly but you are blind you constantly fail

I'm scared ill lose you it makes me sick and now I'm frail

please dont go and let me rot in my own sorrow

i need you to help me get through today and tomorrow

I'm hurt and i feel alone
my heart is feeling cold

I'm turning to stone