I'm a lost cause

I stare down at my arms,
and I see what I've done,
I think thats when it hits me,
I'm the broken one.
all these years I thought it was you,
but now the reality makes that untrue.

I've been running from myself,
I see that now,
I guess what always escaped me was that I knew how.
but i hid that from everyone including myself.

disguising feelings is what I do best.
just pretend its all OK and other people do the rest.
just put on a smile and make out its all OK,
they soon forget to question,
and go on along their way.

Then comes the empty silence,
just me and my own thoughts,
no one to interrupt them,
now I'm a lost cause.