Throughout my life, i have let people in and told them things that shouldn't have been told...
i put my complete trust into others...
only to be pushed away and left for vultures and feed off my sun-dried body.
it has come to the point where i want to scream... cry... and disappear... leaving no finger or footprints for others to track me down.
Maybe if i weren't hear, i would be happy?
live in camouflage... no one can see my tears, streaming down my face...
The blood spilling out of me like water from a fountain!...
Letting my life flow away...
feeling at peace finally...
It seems so simple doesn't it... to take that last breath and end it all...
Closing my eyes... holding the blade at my arm...
Making sure the blade is aimed along the veins...
Hand is shaking in sadness...
Breathing shakily as i sob...
Blade touches the skin...
I start to cut deeply...
At first its unbearable...
But then, i feel at peace and i open my eyes...
To realize, my mother is looking at my lifeless body... mourning!
I see myself lying there, white, bleeding and stiff...
There is a piece of paper in my pocket...
Reading ' I'm sorry for this mum, you never saw me... nor understood my nightmares of the past
Seeing her, hovering over my body...
Attempting to revive me only seems natural for a mother...
I turn away... and walk out my bedroom door...
Never to look back...
Only to realize, the moment i walked out...
my mother saw me for who i was...
DEAD!... AND ALONE!
