To feel like an empty shell, heartless, suicidal and deserted.
Trying to put my reason's across only seems futile.
In one ear and out the other is all that happens.
I despise the way I feel at this moment!
To feel concealed, unnoticed and insignificant.
Why cant she treat me the way she treats him?!
I need to be released.
Not to be a dog... a dog, thats what i am!...
Chained to a metal stake outside in the cold.
Get continuous belting's if i move slightly!
Starving for health, bones brittle, flesh slowly being devoured by rabid animals.
Slowly deteriorating with every breath, until there is nothing left but the bloodstained bones that are my remains.
Hair, nothing but a source of an outlet... ripping hair out of my scalp is the only ways to see if i am still here, that... or cutting into my smooth and bare skin.
The pain center's me here on this weird place called Earth.
I want help, I need help!
If only people could hear and see my pain.
That thought of asking help leaves a dry and spikey lump in the back of my throat...
*This piece of writing was at the near end of my depression... i couldn't handle any more of the pressures and stress of events that forced me into depression...
Writing helped me calm myself at times... but as all stories... never ended well... after this i went through 2 months of trying to control my problem... and then after those 2 months i fell back into depression... and self-mutilation again... it got to the point of having regular hospital visits... but now i am getting proper help... and am helping myself get back on track...
