A crystal made of glass

Good poem

Work on your beat, good rhyme 4/5

So when the time comes again,
To make a love out of crystal glass,
Remember how easy that crystal broke,
And this time take a pass.

very true. wow this one has so much to say its a great write.

laura

You made your first stanza work somehow.
First time I laid eyes on it...
I though, syllable count, forced, out of flow.
But when I read it, it was pretty good.
Not perfect, but good.
One mistake, the glass will break,
Shattering into a million pieces,
The crystal made of glass is now worth nothing,
The whole value decreases.
That one was out of flow.
I couldn't really find one in there.

I love this line
That your lives were both the same,
But in fact there quite contrasting.
Soo... poetic? :P

And this one as well.
And this time take a pass.

Since you put it in love
I thought it was going to be another one of those
Love me, love me, say that you love me
But then you didn't.
Your telling people about facts of love.
That it breaks as easily as crystal glass.
I like it :]
5/5, dearest

"And this time take[s] a pass"

The use of the crystal glass metaphor is quite effective, specially now that you used it to give an illustration of how fragile and delicate Love can be. Indeed, nothing lasts forever for it is a constant change. But then again, it makes me wonder how those old folks manage to survive in Life/Love. Do they have greater devotion for each other than one has? Better, careful decisions...?...just my thoughts anyway...

A nicely-penned love poem. Thank you for sharing it! Debbie