Dear Diary

Dear Diary.
I overdosed today.
But for some reason, I didn't die.
I just wanted to be at peace.
And to end the nights I cry.
I tried to commit suicide.
I tried to end the pain,
but now I realize something..
Everything's still the same.

Dear Diary.
I tried to take my life again,
for reasons I just cant explain.
This time I cut myself so deep,
just to begin the eternal sleep.
The blood dripped to the floor, I started to cry.
Kneeling on the ground, just begging to die.
I thought I succeeded that night..
But no, another failed attempt at suicide.

Dear Diary.
They put me in a place with soft white walls,
a place where people never roam the halls.
Nobody will visit, but my family sometimes calls.
Cause I have no friends, just people I know.
Even if I asked them to come, they would never show.
Staring out the frozen window, watching it snow,
thinking, all alone in my little room,
I feel better now, I'm going home soon..

Dear Diary.
Staring at these scars upon my wrists,
I start wondering, if God really exists.
Something has kept me here, but what?
When I took those pills, and started to cut,
something wouldn't let me die..
Well, here I go one last time;
Again, trying to commit suicide.
It will work this time, it must.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
I steal the pistol from the night stand,
and grip it in my cold, pitiful hand.
I can't help but cry alone, and think,
staring at the mirror, above the bathroom sink.
It's over now, they're gonna see.
How much they never meant to me.
I realize the power at my fingertips,
and place the gun, in between my lips.
I say goodbye to you all,
pull the trigger, and then I fall.
I throw the pistol against the wall.
The gun didn't fire.
Why God, why? I'm so tired..
Maybe I can get some help.
I'm sick of trying to kill myself.
In the bathroom, alone, I cry.
Sort of happy, to still be alive.