Should I Let You in and Tell You My Secret?

What is it now that
you ask of me
Do you want me to leave
and just let you be

Please don't think
I'm just here to play
I'm simply too old
to do things that way

I've seen in you
more than you may know
I'd be the fool
if I chose to let go

To you I know
I've said before
That I want in my life
so much more

When I can't talk
or explain to you
Do you feel I don't love you
for if only you knew

What's in my heart
though it seems so unclear
It's you I desire
to hold me my dear

The emotions I feel
are so many it seems
Who would've thought
I'd meet the man of my dreams

Sometimes the stories
that I leave untold
They have not the value
of silver nor gold

The one thing to me
that they have all brought
Is to live and learn well
what I have been taught

For if I didn't learn
the first time through
I'd have to relearn
until the lesson I knew

What to expect
when I make the wrong choice
and what would become
when I don't use my voice

Though you think that
by now I should know
It's not quite that easy
my feelings to show

I wish that it were
no one more than me
But it seems that you too
have some baggage you see

Often it's others that
I'm inclined to protect
their love to consider
and not to neglect

Maybe you know
or maybe you don't
but my children I value
and hurt them I won't

So when I speak of their Dad
and what is to be
The person I think of
the least is me

I know how it is
to grow up without Dad
Abandoned, Confused
Lonely and Sad

There's times that we had
I don't look back and miss
Those are the times
I try hard to dismiss

My parents at times
fought and I'd see
Myself I would wrap
around Daddy's knee

Please don't fight
I love you too much
Why can't we live,
laugh, and love with our touch

God, how I cried
when my Daddy he went
A new family he found
for his time to be spent

Even at three I was
so smart you see
For my mother I took
to find she and he

Miles from my home
but easy to find
He took me there once
while his woman he dined

As I watched from the couch
You know not how I felt
That marked the day
I cried until my eyes welt

For never again would
a family we be
I couldn't get passed
how much that crushed me

Much later in life
20 years down the line
The time we now took
for our love to define

He tried to explain
in the best way he could
but please no excuses
for they did us no good

From that time on I said
anew we could start
to do what we could
to not be apart

From then the time went
more quickly it seems
For now he is truly
the man of my dreams

I dream of him often
without much control
For nothing is further
down in my soul

The man I loved most
I forever have lost
So much time did we waste
It seems such a high cost

I've loved and I've lost
again I will say
I want to live every moment
like it's my very last day!

You see what nobody
sees about me
and that is what I
have shown thee!