Feelings

Very good poem. Nice rhythm and word choice.5/5

Another sad ,teary read for me.VERY HEART FELT, I have no critisism

This is a very sad poem. I can really relate to it, It reminds me of my poem you commented on(Fading away). I no how you feel and I know what you are going through. I go through the same thing everyday it seems like. I really enjoyed reading this poem. It was like looking into my soul and seeing my own feelings. The flow was wonderful also. I have a few suggestions:

1) I think that you should rephrase these line: I want just once for someone to know
Whats been filling inside

FOR ONCE I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO
KNOW

WHAT I'VE BEEN FEELING INSIDE.

To me it reads better and sounds better that way.

2) This line has a grammer error that should be fixed:

No hope of chance to stand up again

Instead of OF it should be OR.

3) I think that you should combine these two lines to form a complete sentence; and, you won't have to use I'm twice.

I'm tired
I'm sick of it all

I think that it should be:
I'M TIRED AND SICK OF IT ALL.

4) I also think that you should find a better way to write the six lines before the last line; so, that you won't have to use the letter I so much.

Over-all I think that this is a very good poem and I believe that you put a lot into it. I can feel the emotions pouring out of every word. Please don't be offended by my suggestions because that is just what they are. I still think your poem was wonderful and it deserves a 5/5. Keep writing what's in your heart hun!

Best wishes
Letty

Why doesn't anyone comment any more?
nice/sad poem 5/5