The Game

The breath that I couldn't catch, is now within my reach.
I survived the first wave of torture, never making a screech.
Soundless I persevered, giving aid to only myself.
Looked around me, but saw no one else.
But I shrugged it off and continued forward, I just didn't care.
I was fine before, and I'll be fine now with no one there.

I held tight to myself, made sure my pain would never show.
Kept myself in high spirits, so I wouldn't ever let myself go.
And for a while this lie stuck to my real life.
But now that the truth is coming forth, it all just adds to my strife.
Because I'm forced to rewind and retell this whole story.
Creating new reasons for friends to worry.

I held my heart and mind in confinement, and never let anything out.
I snapped when one person had found everything out.
It killed me when I had to retrace every lie, and set it straight.
But I did it anyways, and through all the shakes.
However here I am again, standing in the same shame.
Restarting this mask and lying is once again the game.

Now I've got new problems, questions with no answers.
But I float around them, avoiding them like a cancer.
And I've promised so many empty promises I've forgotten what they were.
Not like I would keep them, I still have yet to find my special cure.
I'm still lost and wandering, each day I'm losing something I cannot replace.
Every night blood and tears scream down my face.

It's cold everywhere I look, everwhere I turn.
All of my battles have yet to be adjourned.
Deserted in the darkness of your brightest smile, and hearty laugh.
And only because I can only see them in your photograph.
All these feelings, all this pain.
Was brought by you, and it's all unexplained.

Copyright, Taylor Brown, 2006-02-16