Sorry

I return home from the dark
from the wet streets,
street lamps illuminating,
my every move,
make the rain come alive.

Freezing cold air swifts,
softly upon my checks,
as if screaming to me its winter,
and extremely deafening.

Body numb by the screeching air.
just want to close my eyes and fade away,
temped by the blade in my hand,
but then i stop,
i unlock the door to my house.

The cold is wrist inside,
empty spaces swilling me,
up inside, as if starving,
is it i the only one here,?

No one is home,
My mind dies,
thoughts, everything kill me softly,
I here a wish per,
"i love you"
I look around.

Reaching for him,
I run,
I stop,
I look around,
This silence in my head so loud.

I remember now,
Did i leave you?
you are alive,
but not here,
did i go?

As the darkness impressions me,
i stay as I'm trapped for a while,
my thoughts caught up in webs.

and then i remember,
that night,
you are alive,
but i am a tormented soul,
looking for someone to talk to.

Sorry