MY MERCILESS CYCLE

Guys, why do we always need to have one?
And why is it that whenever one relationship is done
We always have to go out looking for a new one?
Why do we feel so lonely when theres no one to call us "hun"?
To be honest, I probably shared a relationship with around 500 guys
Most were just on the phone for entertainment, never even saw their eyes
However, I did date around 15 of my boyfriends
Each one followed by a more miserable end
Yet I didnt really care that all my relationships failed
I just somehow started to believe that I was cursed
Cursed to never find a pure heart where I belong
A heart that can forever cherish me, a heart so strong
It all started when I lost my first true love
For he was cheating on me, it hurt so bad I felt like I wasnt enough
I tried getting over him for 5 months, yet I terribly failed
So I foolishly thought that maybe it would help if I played
I used to lie on guys and tell them that theyre the only one I love
Just to keep myself busy and forget my only true lost love
Years have passed since that day
And I never really felt the same way
I never really cared for any guy that much
I never really loved any guy that much
I never really had hope in any guy that much
I never really longed for any guy that much
Until this very year, when I once again found true love
Love that made me believe my first was just a crush and not love
Love so strong, love so pure
It was true love that I know for sure
However, due to my past relationship breakdowns
I somehow believed that this one will also end with a frown
A lonely frown and tears that could cause me to once again drown
So I made the best of it and helped it go down
I was cheated on before, cheated on so many times
That I no longer believed it was a crime
I somehow believed that its okay to cheat sometimes
And now thanks to that stupid belief I lost a loved one again
What the hell is wrong with my brain?
Why the hell am I being influenced in this way?
Why do I have to do something that once killed me like a prey?
So beware everyone, for once again the merciless cycle goes on
Im back to play around with you, and then be gone