Eating Disorder

Food is like a poison to me,
making me get so fat.
I really want to lose weight,
how can I go about that?
I'll starve myself, not eat a thing,
wanting to be thin.
Hoping to look better,
hoping to fit in.
I didn't eat for hours & days,
because I looked like a freak.
I was so ashamed of how I looked,
so I starved myself for weeks.
I'd weigh myself all day long,
then, not happy with what I saw,
I'd go and make myself throw up,
It would make my throat feel raw.
I always over-exercised,
and by the time that I was done,
I'd be too tired to do anything,
too exhausted to have fun.
Now I'm in a hospital,
with a tube stuck up my nose.
I think, this isn't what I wanted,
this isn't what I chose.
I just wanted to be skinny,
not sent somewhere far away.
I miss my friends & family,
I guess that's the price I must pay.

True story-written in 2000, while I was in the hospital.