Blinded by her utter beauty (re-worked)

by JaMeS   Dec 26, 2006


Another day has come and gone
and yet you still haven't said anything,
if you did what would you say,
how would you say it,
how would you let her know,
does it even matter anymore
anythings better than the pain of keeping it inside,

its the time you said you'd be there,
just for her,
as you walk in to see her
you find yourself muttering sweet words,
making sure it all sounds perfect,
perfect because today you decided you were gonna tell her how you feel,

you open the door, their she is,
she smiles,

and you under,
under the spell the sparkle in her eyes put you upon,
you go to speak but your words don't leave your mouth
they don't even touch the air,
your blinded,
blinded on the spot, its like no one else is in the room

then a voice whispers 'nows your chance',
but everything you planned to say is lost,
you forgot that perfect sentence you were gonna tell this perfect girl,

her beauty's made you speechless,
your mesmerized by the look in her eye,
and every glance blinds you deeper,
and all that goes threw your mind is the hope you two would talk,
because theres no place you'd rather be than lost in the sound of her voice.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by taylor

    Awwe u sound sweet!

    xoxTaylor

  • 16 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    First things first, I enjoyed the poem. :]
    It was sweet, Full of emotion and you put a lot into it, I'm sure.

    Second things..second? :D
    Er okay;

    I found that if you structured it, You'd be much better at expressing yourself.
    You've got the idea, You've got the vocab, The emotion..Now to turn it into an excellent poem. :]
    Atm it strikes me as a work in progress, Make it easier for the reader to read. If structured, The flow becomes much easier.

    Read over it a few times, Fix your little mistakes.
    Add Your capital letters, Your punctuation etc and then give it a little more of a structure.

    Just my opinion, But I did enjoy the poem once I got into it. :]

  • 16 years ago

    by tears i cry

    I loved it was very sweet and i believe this has happened to alot of people this is the best poem of yours so far 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney

    Another great write! So beautiful in every word. I was hooked as soon as I read the first line.
    5/5
    *Brittney

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow, I really enjoyed in this one. I like everything about it: The topic, choice of words and form of the whole piece. The last stanza is my favorite. Truly beautifully written piece.
    Keep up, 5/5 from me.

Read All Comments (8)

More Poems By JaMeS