The Rustle Of Dying Dreams

This was so well-detailed
and I liked the two last lines very much :)

Marjan x

This was gorgeous(gorgeous being my way of saying amazing) You did such a good job, it was gripping. I loved it 100%

Well done,
Elainex

Tear* Tear*
I swear you poetry is addicting!
I love it so much!
I love how easily your poems flow, and what they stand for. Your writting is so beautiful! I love the imagery, I can see it so clearly and It makes me cry.
Keep it up I look forward to reading more.
Oh and if you find time, could you check out "Im blinded by my lighting way" It's a poem I wrote and I look forward to you input.
Thanks Elaine

5/5 :D *claps hands* I hate seeing the leaves fall of the trees, it makes me sad, but I'm happy when spring comes :)

I think your rhyming gets in the way of your overall presentation much of the time. The last four of your most recent poems I think this to be the case. your rhyme scheme seems to almost lessen the effect of your poem--effect being the one thing art should do that I failed to mention on that list. You seem to have a certain effect goin in all your poems, whcih your ideas, theme, and overall presentation go into making, but your rhyme scheme I think softens your effect, hindering it in a way. If you are to make your poem like a narrative, make it a narrative. If you wish to just convey idea, effect, by just setting people in a place and using description do that, but try not to get hung up on the rhyming. Once you think you have pulled forth your effect to the tmost with what you have, then go back and change your poems to rhyme.