Nothing Will Change

I'm not a perfect person
I can't do anything right
Every little mistake I make
Just turns into another fight

I can't be like Brian
He's good at so many things
The only thing I'm good at
Is cutting my arm 'til it stings

It's what I have to do
to release this inner pain
because after mommy died
I became sort of insane

It's hard to know there's no one there
to hold me in their arms
To tell me things will be okay
After I self-harm

I just want things to be better
like they were before
but that will never happen
because everyday I want to cut more

This smile I wear
is a complete lie
the true me inside
is hoping to die

Right when I need people the most
I push them away
Knowing that nothing
will ever be okay

Nothing will ever change
My life will always be like this
I'll continue to watch the blood
pour from my clenched up fists

Nothing can help me
my addictions are too big
So I pick up the razor
and into my skin I dig

I cut up my arm again
to release the stress
And think of how my life
will continue to be a mess

I don't want things like this
But it's too hard to go back
because happiness is something
That I will always lack