The Screaming Eyes of Beast

by Mousie   Jan 9, 2007


War of moral rectitude
Fear of sunken dreams,
Anger for the ones who hurt
The screaming eyes of beast.

Bombarded with abuse
Of the wretched souls released,
Maddened at the lives they live
The screaming eyes of beast.

Lies for wealthy earning
Deceitful at the least,
Foreboding dangers go unknown
The screaming eyes of beast.

But love prevails most certainly
The light through darkened trees,
A sunshine to society
The softened eyes of beast.

Alright, i'm putting the explanation of the poem down here, b/c i want to submit this in a contest and i wanna make sure my meaning comes across... the beast is society, and the first stanza talks about the contradiction of morals, dreams that have gone unfinished, and the hatred people have for criminals. second stanze was the children abused. third stanza is about how the wealthy dishonestly receive and earn their money. last stanza is the light of love in a world of darkness and softens the eyes of society. let me know if that makes sense thanks so much! r/r/c and i will back!

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Sweet Disposition

    Another brilliant poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lonesomeme

    I really enjoyed this poem...I think that the meaning was a litle hard to pull but the vivid description was there and gave me a great pictureof what is happening in the poem. 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Ok so I guess I have to be serious with this one, ey?
    It is very good, and I think your metaphor for society is clever. It's one that should help you on your way to winning, in theory.
    Ok, ok any suggestions (I'm going to be nit picky now, only because you need all areas analysed as it's a contest poem)...
    Depending on the standard of the contest, judges may feel "souls" leans towards cliche, just simply because it's a common word in poetry.
    On the first line of the last stanza, "but" isn't completely necessary (though it's fine if you choose to keep it)...Also, high literacy educators bla bla bla say using "ly" on the end of words is bad English so in which case you may want to rethink "certainly." See, knit picky, I use "ly" all the time because I'm naughty and frankly don't care lol but if this is in a serious contest everything must be considered.
    You used a good example of light overcoming dark on the second line of the last stanza...so maybe "sunshine to society" is just repeating yourself? Just another idea.....
    At the moment I can't think of anything else...but if you think about what I've rambled on about and I'll come back to it again if you want lol.
    Take care and the best of luck with this poem in the contest.

  • 18 years ago

    by LuvLyLynn

    I like reading this poem...i love how screaming eyes of beasts softens...keep up the good work... :)5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    Absolutely beautiful! I loved every word of this poem, and the meaning behind it made it that much better. You have quite a talent, great work.

    --Steph

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