The few people who are supposed
to care about me the most, are
completley different people than who
i thought and I don't know what to
do!
I hate this. I hate them. I love them.
I couldn't hate them but with them in
my life makes me hate myself.
Am I not good enough for you?
Could your "true" feelings really change
so fast if what you said all along was true?
From Love to tourcherous Hate just like that.
Every night I lay awake wondering what I
did wrong.
You held me high. High. High.
You made me so scared.
So, so scared.
The fear of the brutal drop below led me to push
myself away from the person who I
can't get my mind off of anymore.
You didn't try to hold on you just threw me
down and let me fall.
Fall to the cold wet ground.
Then laughed in my face.
I feel dead. Dead because you don't notice me.
Because when you used to really care
I could feel it. The warm feeling you expressed
to me.
But now you don't even bother to ask.
You say your my friend but all I feel is cold, cold hate.
My heart hurts.
I know this was love.
The feeling of longing for you at my side.
To see you again.
The hurt of rejection and avoiding me hits
me like a thousand rocks.
I wonder if it'd be better to stop talking.
And I know that if I made no effort,
You wouldnt either.
And thats the hardest thing.
Knowing that unlike before, the only way we talk
is with my effort because yours has
dissapeared into a dark, dark hole
where it's just way too hard to find.
Tears stream down my cheeks.
I try to stop them but they keep comming.
I try to stop the pain but it keeps comming.
Deep. Sharp. Pain.
Pain. Pain. Pain.
The pain gets so hard I become numb to it.
The constant jab in me feels nothing but a
pinch.
The pain has gone away. But its not really
gone. Its there. I've just made myself numb to it.
Numb. No feeling. Numb.
