Locked up

Locked up in a prison, caged up like a bird,
wanting, longing to fly.
No time to ask why,
before the abuse get hurled,
emotions uncurled,
dangerous world,
when you dont like what you hear,
make it fall on deaf ears,
but its harder than that,
Prowling round your heart like a savage cat,
peircing the pointless wall,
watching-out of body- the way it crumbles and starts to fall.
It\'s not a case of \'I don\'t give a s h i t \'
It\'s a case of I can\'t handle it.
All these emotions don\'t buzz anymore,
they make there way round my body, slowly
unsure.
Crawling, tired and desperate to find,
A way to let this anger ball relax and unwind.
Help give me purpose and reason to be,
not with the hatred behind hurt when you look at me.
My heart, my soul, dead feeling inside.
An art and a skill when you learn how to hide.
When your desires and fears are locked away,
and anger and dispair are shown on display.
But you trudge on needlessly,
trying to keep smiling respectfully,
act prim and proper with a nod and a curtsy.
How can I prevent my smiles from going astray,
when my tears and fears will not reside, go away,
to the place in my mind where I need them to hide, to stay?

I am forbidden from showing the pain,
except in my tears which flow through me in vain,
carrying my hurt, my stress and again,
losing a part of me I can never regain,
showing my weakness like a vulnerable child,
shedding the tears my emotions run wild.
As my souls being drowned
by the drops running down me,
Everytime it happens as if it\'s a murder,
I lose myself inside me a little bit further.