It's so hard.

It's so hard,
to have your mouth barred.
It's so hard to be me.
It's so hard to have your heart scarred,
and yet he did it so freely.

It's so hard,
to express my thoughts,
It's so hard to be me.
It's so hard to be something your not,
and the real me nobody can see.

It's so hard,
to live up to expectations.
It's so hard to be me.
It's so hard to get out of my inhibitions,
and tell him that I like him easily.

It's so hard,
to sink into those eyes,
It's so hard to be me.
Because it's so hard when your heart melts and dies,
and falls in a trance of his beauty.

It's so hard,
to face people who judge you.
It's so hard to be me.
It's so hard to do what I want to,
because I'm afraid you will despise me.

It's so hard,
to write this poem,
knowing that you are not reading.
It's so hard to be me.
Because it's so hard to face the truth,
that I may never have the courage to tell you what you loot,
even though it is my heart you loot so easily.

It's so hard,
to look at you every Sunday.
It's so hard to be me.
Because it's so hard to see you send me hints in every way.
And not knowing if hints they are supposed to be.

It's so hard to end this poem,
because I love talking about you.
It's so hard to be me.
It's so hard once I'm through,
to read this again and remember you.

It's so hard,
to decide whether or not I should tell you about my feelings.
It's so hard to be me.
But it's about time I stopped whining about my dealings,
and take a step closer to bravery.