Ashamed, afraid, alone

My days the same the night no better,
it seems I'm drowning and its only getting wetter,
no patience to save no tolerance to stand,
shot around like a rubber band,
so many loves so many lost,
whys this life have such a cost,
the pain of not one, not two, but three,
all the memories I still wish to see,
so I sit in this bar and watch it unfold,
so many couples with each other to hold,
working all day yet still no money,
my bills so high its almost funny,
electric, gas, and water too,
cant pay the phone bill, can this be true,
will there ever be a day when every things right,
I can lay my head down for one worry less night

sorry this poem ain't my best I just needed to vent