I'm sorry

Sitting here
crying myself to sleep
staring at the blade
that once cut so deep

remembering the blood
and how sad i once was
and how different i was doing a thing
that no one ever does

trying to hold back
my body begins to shake
knowing that using it again
would be a giant mistake

i want to be happy
and i promised myself i wouldn't
but I'm letting the smallest things
get to me, the things that i shouldn't

it's driving me CRAZY
with that demonish smile on my face
trying to cover up the hurt
that once was in its place

i am crying harder
and my lungs begin to scream
and i finally gave in
and fell into a life long dream

*~I'm Sorry~*