Can't believe

I can't believe it.
Didn't you say that this wasn't going to come true?
Didn't you say that I was never going to be alone or at least feel this way?
Didn't we argued until we cried knowing that It was going to happen?

I can't believe I believed you.
I had my visions about this so many months before it happened but I just had to confront you about it.
You denied all of what I said.
No this isn't going to happen.
No this isn't either
You know,
I thought I had the perfect life back then.
good grades,
and a good friend that you were plus some of the few friends I had but lost them defending you.

As the months went by,
I became blind at first.
You started ditching me slowly then doing it more and more.
The more you ditched the more I needed someone to talk to.
The more you ignored my calls needing a person to talk to the more I felt alone,
scared,
more depressed.
I tried to give a hand out to you.
But, it just felt like I'm a little kid getting their hand slapped for no reason.

Answer me these questions,
What did I do to deserve this?
Is it my fault?
Why did you make up excuses so you can't talk to me?
Don't give me your yelling "I DON'T KNOW!"
Then your speech about me teaching how to be a good friend.
I didn't teach you anything.
Well, theres a nice excuse
So here is another question,
Did you ever like me in the first place?
Did you ever care?

When I chat on the Internet and I try to talk to people,
they are just like she's just a friend
she's not worth all of this.
Or Just shake her off,
But, I can't!
She was like a sister to me then all of a sudden with just me realizing she turns her back on me.

At school I see her happy like this never happened.
I question myself does she really care?
Does she feel no pain that I have felt?
I have no friends here anymore.
I feel so alone.
I feel invisible now.
Each time I even see her or she's at my class I just want to curl up into a little ball because it just gives me flash backs.

Now I feel so alone that I don't want to go to school anymore.
Now I want to disappear.
I want to be away from you.
I want to forget you and all that you did to me.

* I wnt to share this poem to my English class and this is how i feel so plz read and comment!*