Comments : A Vague Memory

  • 17 years ago

    by jason

    This is really good 5/5 from me the scene your trying to show is made out really clear and the rhyme scheme is really good

  • 17 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This poem flows very well and reads like a short novel .. I don't see anything I would change.. well done

  • 17 years ago

    by GIRL IN LOVE

    WOW... This a wonderful poem.i feel your emotion. keep up the good talent.
    i loved it.
    thanks
    GIRL IN LOVE

  • 17 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow this is really good! it was very deep and had emotion in it! i think you did a wonderful job writing it! keep it up, you have talent! 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 17 years ago

    by LithiumSacrifice

    Wow. that is extremly interesting.. usually people write about being the victem. neat. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by LOVEmeNOT

    It was good...idk why the person didn't vote it with a 5 but it was really good. I mean i didn't know what you were talking about in the start but at the end i understood why, it all came together.

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I thought this was good, and interested to read. However, I couldn't help but feel that in the first three stanzas, the last line seems forced. I think you could have worded it differently to sound better.

    And in the last stanza:
    "I will remain here 'til the day i die,
    That day is comming ever so slow."

    That 'I' should be capitalised, and 'comming' should be 'coming'. :]

  • 17 years ago

    by resisting reason

    Holy crap that poem was SWEET keep up the good work

  • 17 years ago

    by Dark Demise

    Great poem, I dont know why people would down vote this poem, Was it on the top list? because they always go down on the top list, But then again it kinda shows what people really think bout your poem.. only if they would comment like you said...

    Anyway this really was a great poem though, good work and keep it up,
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Hmm. I'm thinking about what people could have down rated this poem for. I guess they felt that it ended to quickly, that a few words could have been worded better.

    However, like this poem. It was pretty awesome! Even though I don't think the last stanza transitions in completely. The wording was my favorite part of it. Such imagery! overall= 5

  • 17 years ago

    by in.need.of.a.lucky.charm

    I dont know about the flow, it was a bit forced to read, but i really liked the idea! i think you did great hun! keep it up.
    Much love and many kisses,
    Bex

  • 17 years ago

    by lillie

    Wow this poem is intersting and a lil intense

  • 17 years ago

    by CrownxClown

    You have an intresting mind i must say i can see how you feel in the poem..5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Jovita

    This peom is really good i luv it

  • 17 years ago

    by CrownxClown

    Very interesting poem....I'll give it a five out of five

  • 17 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    I really enjoyed this poem, but I think you could make a few easy improvements that would make it flow better.

    For example, the last line of the second stanza:
    "Behind her white blouse"
    Seems like it needs one more syllable.
    You could easily change the color to scarlet or yellow, which wouldn't really change the meaning of that stanza, just make it flow better.

    In my opinion,
    "As to not miss her arrival home"
    Is a very awkward line.
    You could change it to something like
    "So I wouldn't miss her arriving home"
    Which also leaves the meaning the same.

    In the last stanza you have a typo-- 'comming' has one too many m's.
    I also suggest you change the last line to make it seem more like an ending.
    Ex.
    "But that day is coming slow."

    I really enjoyed the meaning of this poem, though, so 5/5.

    Great work!

  • 17 years ago

    by Cassie Cain

    I really like this poem, its really good.

  • 17 years ago

    by PAUL HEWSON

    Tit pervert! i bet your name is herbert and you get off eating sherbert

  • 17 years ago

    by AmazingOne

    I absolutely loved it.
    It was simply amazing.
    I'm impressed.
    Bravo!
    =]
    I give it a 20 out of 10.=]

  • 17 years ago

    by SHYSTY23KO

    I love it! Beautiful and mysterious, leaves me wondering but i like it! flows great!