This is really good 5/5 from me the scene your trying to show is made out really clear and the rhyme scheme is really good

This poem flows very well and reads like a short novel .. I don't see anything I would change.. well done

WOW... This a wonderful poem.i feel your emotion. keep up the good talent.
i loved it.
thanks
GIRL IN LOVE

Wow this is really good! it was very deep and had emotion in it! i think you did a wonderful job writing it! keep it up, you have talent! 5/5

~Kristina

Wow. that is extremly interesting.. usually people write about being the victem. neat. 5/5

It was good...idk why the person didn't vote it with a 5 but it was really good. I mean i didn't know what you were talking about in the start but at the end i understood why, it all came together.

I thought this was good, and interested to read. However, I couldn't help but feel that in the first three stanzas, the last line seems forced. I think you could have worded it differently to sound better.

And in the last stanza:
"I will remain here 'til the day i die,
That day is comming ever so slow."

That 'I' should be capitalised, and 'comming' should be 'coming'. :]

Holy crap that poem was SWEET keep up the good work

Great poem, I dont know why people would down vote this poem, Was it on the top list? because they always go down on the top list, But then again it kinda shows what people really think bout your poem.. only if they would comment like you said...

Anyway this really was a great poem though, good work and keep it up,
5/5

Hmm. I'm thinking about what people could have down rated this poem for. I guess they felt that it ended to quickly, that a few words could have been worded better.

However, like this poem. It was pretty awesome! Even though I don't think the last stanza transitions in completely. The wording was my favorite part of it. Such imagery! overall= 5

I dont know about the flow, it was a bit forced to read, but i really liked the idea! i think you did great hun! keep it up.
Much love and many kisses,
Bex

Wow this poem is intersting and a lil intense

You have an intresting mind i must say i can see how you feel in the poem..5/5

This peom is really good i luv it

Very interesting poem....I'll give it a five out of five

I really enjoyed this poem, but I think you could make a few easy improvements that would make it flow better.

For example, the last line of the second stanza:
"Behind her white blouse"
Seems like it needs one more syllable.
You could easily change the color to scarlet or yellow, which wouldn't really change the meaning of that stanza, just make it flow better.

In my opinion,
"As to not miss her arrival home"
Is a very awkward line.
You could change it to something like
"So I wouldn't miss her arriving home"
Which also leaves the meaning the same.

In the last stanza you have a typo-- 'comming' has one too many m's.
I also suggest you change the last line to make it seem more like an ending.
Ex.
"But that day is coming slow."

I really enjoyed the meaning of this poem, though, so 5/5.

Great work!

I really like this poem, its really good.

Tit pervert! i bet your name is herbert and you get off eating sherbert

I absolutely loved it.
It was simply amazing.
I'm impressed.
Bravo!
=]
I give it a 20 out of 10.=]

I love it! Beautiful and mysterious, leaves me wondering but i like it! flows great!