Comments : For one second

  • 12 years ago

    by moonlil

    Beautiful poem! I enjoyed reading it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Cindy

    This is such a sad poem. The pain of your loss can be felt in your words.

    For one second
    I imagine to get over you
    I found I could die in my thoughts

    Great job.
    Take care Cindy

  • 12 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    Wow thts really amazing wording..gr8 flow..u rock!!!
    5/5

    God bless u

  • 12 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    For one second
    I imagine to get over you
    I found I could die in my thoughts

    OH, what a sad poem.
    Great job.

  • 12 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Aw. i like the way you wrote it. the parallel structure i think is what its called. just reading it reminded me of heartbeats. thanks for commenting my friends poem. and or poems...

    5/5.

  • 12 years ago

    by chavii

    The poem speaks volumes of sincere love.The ending couldnot have been better than this. Beautiful poem.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tine

    Heya..
    I really enjoyed reading your poem, the flow goes nicely, and it seems to me that it's really written from the heart... :)
    keep it up!

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Darien

    Wow, this was a really good poem. That really describes how people feel when they are in love. We need that other person so bad, that when we are not with them, we feel like nothing. You did a great job on this one my friend.

  • 12 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    Wow.
    That was.. wow.
    There were a few places it could be improved but the ideas were touching.
    So sweet.
    Made me smile haha.

    Firstly I thought through outthe poem [imagined] would fit better.

    "For one second
    I imagine[d] life without you
    I felt scary voices in [the] streets"

    Adding the would make more sense. :]

    "for one second
    I imagine forgetting you
    I [was] scared of ending breaths"

    Adding was would make it make more sense.

    "For one second
    I imagine life without you
    aching Hours changed in[to*] years"

    That was my favourite stanza, Really made me go..wow.
    But I think to instead of in would make more sense.

    "For one second
    i thought about your faded face
    I saw a tear flow in[down*] my cheeks"

    Down, again would make more sense.

    The ending was..amazing.
    I loved the ending.
    It left me in awe.

    Good work. =]

  • 12 years ago

    by Nikki

    I liked it!

  • 12 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Your English grammar and tense is incorrect throughout most of the poem, is this because English isn't your mother tongue?
    It was a good effort though. It was a simple write, and the parts I could understand were emotional.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 12 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    I dont like that the stanzas are so short and i have to say "for one second" every 2 lines.... but other than that it is a great poem./ 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    One word. Beautiful. I loved reading your poetry i belive they hold strong emotions. This was amazing. Nice flow nice structure. Well done on this~mel

  • 12 years ago

    by Kaila

    Been here and felt that
    I love the way you pretty much read my mind when it comes to poems
    great job

  • 12 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Wow!..Beautiful work!...Very well done hun!
    The poem flowed smoothly and i like the structure too...Love was filled through out this peice...You've penned the emotionsreally well

    Great job on this one!
    5/5
    xxPoojaxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Roxy

    Wow, Firstly I'd like to thank you for commenting one of my poems. This poem is really passionate and deep. It shows great emotion!
    xx Rox keep it up

  • 11 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I think you really like to use 'repetitions' xD but you are good at it! keep it up. Flow was good I really enjoyed reading your poems :)

    -Sorry for the late comment btw :)

  • 11 years ago

    by X2892

    I enjoyed reading it, great work again :-) 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    You're so talented poet! I like everything about this piece, every stanza is greatly written and the ending is excellent.
    My favorite stanza is:
    -For one second
    I decide letting you go
    I saw million of grieves embracing me-
    I'm adding this poem to my favorites :)
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Nix

    WOW. Excellently written poem. Ending is superb. Wording is great and topic is also interesting and unique. 5/5