Overall a very good write. the concept is different, which is refreshing. good imagery. easy to visualize. some poems give me a color-feel, if that makes sense. this one was gray. the third stanza didn't seem to fit as well as the others. the rhythm seemed off. the rest of it flowed well. and who am i to tell anyone anything!! excellent. 5 for you. glad i stopped to read. -beav
Wow, this was beautiful. I absolutely loved the third stanza, your use of visual imagery blew me away. I liked the division of this poem and the words you used really captured your feeling of loneliness. You certainly have a talent for this, great work.