I actually really like this poem. I often don't like smaller lines in poetry.

Critique:

Use more details. Tell the reader what is happening. It adds more emotion to the piece. I have a feeling that is what you were going for. I love the repetition of 12:59. It's nice. Try not to repeat words such as "cruel" in the second stanza. A different word would be nice.

Alright. That was nitpicky. Nice poem.

5/5....i liked the new idea...very original and no cliche rhyming..
i liked the repetition of 12:59 and i liked the words you used to express urself...i also thought it was uite different which is good:) had been any shorter it would have lacked detail..and any longer, it would have lost my attention..so perfect lenght...awesome job:)
it was just the right lenght too, if it

Oh wow good poem I liked the beggining and end stanzas the 12:49 thing was really good nice job

Excellent vocabulary and wroding. I love it!

Another excellent piece. The flow and rhythm is wonderful. Also a good use of imagery.
5/5

[tragic]

I liked this idea of this is was quite unique and interesting i do think you could of went into more details what you were feeling and what not. and i think you repeated some words to many times. I liked the length of the lines it didnt make me bored kept me interested throughout it. a good piece of work here with a few changes it would definitly be perfect. Well done ~mel