This Life,,*

Though it's short it's pretty good. I like the beignning cuz it has this hook in it. "Bruise my heart from each crease" For some reason I'm thinking 'each' could be changed to 'every' but that's just what I'm hearing. And I think it ends fine but maybe you're just wanting that final touch or something.
"And the sadness that will forever remain"
Well, maybe it needs to be shorter or something but it kinda does have a finality to it. Unless it's just about the 'will forever remain' which doesn't work? Maybe '...that forever remains' and take out the will. Just a thought.
~Faith-less

This is a beautiful poem
good work

I love this poem it may be short but still really good!! i can really relate. keep writing! much love <3 nicole

This was really good, I enjoyed it. thankyou for sharing :)