White Angel (Contest)

"Sounds reverberate off the sickly walls
As sobbing cascades through the bathroom stalls
Tears of sorrow trickle down cheeks of torment
Awakening emotions which laid dormant"

^^Now this is more like what I'm used to from you :) I adore this opening stanza, the imagery really stands out and it flows perfectly.

"Dangling upon an unwinding string
Attempting to avoid rejection's sting
Abhorring each deafening jeer
While sustaining a joyful cheer"

^^This one is getting better and better as it goes along, the thing I noticed most about this piece is the flow, it's just beautiful!

"A soaring eagle restrained by invisible chains
Stubbornly attempting escape and yet failing in vain
Struggling and resisting the oppressive force
Driving back the darkness to its original source"

^^The first two lines let the flow down..maybe:

Soaring eagle restrained by invisible chains
Stubbornly attempts escape, yet failing in vain

However I LOVE the last line here.

"Devastation returned to prosperity
Nurtured and soothed by gentle sincerity
Bullied and beaten yet maintaining his sight
Came this great angel all garbed in white"

^^This is truly a wonderful closing, so moving. I love the rhyme in the first two lines.

Beautiful work.

"Tears of sorrow trickle down cheeks of torment
Awakening emotions which laid dormant"
^ Best two lines. The first stanza was quite amazing in this poem, hun. It was perfect, the descriptions, and emotions were amazing. I loved it!
The first stanza wasn't the only amazing part of this poem, the ENTIRE poem was amazing. Which is why you got 2cd place. :D I loved the ending, it was outstanding. The entire poem was.
It was perfection;seriously.

:D Keep it up.
<3Teria.

I read your poem out loud as well , but I didn't hear anything off beat, but I thought that this poem was truly wonderful. The flow was perfect, well pinned, I liked this one the most of all the ones of yours I have read. The imagery is absoultly beautiful. You did an awesome job. 5/5

I have to agree with 'run out of words' as they have a valid point... but yeah i liked the poem, and i often change the beat/syllables from stanza to stanza, your work with words and getting out totally amazing messages, that, you seem to have a gift with... good job so i am giving it a 4/5 i would give it 5/5 with a slightly better flow

First of all, if you don't mind, I'd like to say in the beggining I thought the flow was pretty good. But if you read it out loud, which is what I usually do after writing, you realize the first stanzas lines seem to have a slightly different beat than the second stanza, and so on. I hope you don't feel bad, I mean I'm not an expert and I may be wrong, but it's just how I felt. Obviously, you're waaayyy better than me ^^ but sometimes I feel like giving a lil opinion...apart from that the topic blows out at you. Specially because you talk about different scenarios and then in the end you put it all together to join into one subject, a white angel. Lovely, specially because I have a connection with the topic, it jumped at me.