Sweet desire

"Oh sweet desire"
you said as you saw my bleeding form on the floor
memories of us flashing in your mind
as you put pressure on the wounds on my wrist
"what pushed you to this?"
you asked as you ran a shaking hand over my cold face
"You said you didn't love me,
that you didn't care at all,
yet here you lay bleeding,
with my initials in your arm"
and some how some way,
i was still barely breathing,
and at that moment i had to decide what to do,
so i took my last breath
and whispered barely audible
"I love you, good bye"
but i was wrong,
it wasn't my last breath
or my last moment with you,
i lived through the torture
and i still saw you with her
"why would you do that,
you know i still care"
you asked in a conversation,
weeks later
"it wasn't about you silly self conceited boy,
i just couldn't bare the pain
i suffered from my father any more"
excuses, excuses,
i thought listening to your slow breathing on the other end of the phone
"why are you lying to me?"
was all that was said
and i quickly lied again to regain my pride
"I'm not but i gotta go, see you tomorrow"
and i hung up, that was that
we haven't talked since then
and it burns the gaping hole in my chest
but ill live,
for a while anyways
and we still get those awkward
staring contests when ever we see each other...
"I love you sweet desire,
you filled my life with sweet fire,
rest in peace,
and in peace i will be"
the last words my soul heard before it left this cold earth
but i could still see the coffin,
made especially for me
and the crying friends and family that would never see
how much pain i was truly in
"thank you"
my soul whispered in the wind at you, and somehow i knew you would understand...