Teetering.

by ALEX   Apr 28, 2007


Pretty little liar.
Her family cannot tell...
That deep inside she suffers,
Although she wishes well.

To live a pretty little life...
Is harder than you'd think.
They claim to like you, love you.
You teeter on the brink.

She'd really like to do her best.
She doesn't mean to whine.
It's difficult to "be yourself."
When they all say "she's mine!"

4/28/07

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen of Spades

    The rhyme scheme was off at times, but other than that I really liked the message and though the piece flowed very well. 4/5

    ~queenofspades~

  • 16 years ago

    by Serina the Squid

    The last stanza sucks compared to the rest of the poem. I REALLY don't mean to be mean or anything, but it did. The rest flowed WONDERFULLY and was awesome, I really got your message, but the last four lines threw it all off. The rest is spectacular.

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr M

    Very well vocalized

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    All th way this poem is great. The only place you could revise could be "They claim to like you, love you." this line. I mean like" They claim to like and love you", but in anyway its beautiful. This is the only place I thought for a while. SO you can imagine how well written is this piece. ALL the way 5/5.

    Tc with love
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    The fact that this piece can be interpreted in different ways possible is quite enchanting. I took it as a certain family feud and also a battle between 'good' and 'evil' within the mind - especially the last stanza. On the whole, it rather is a poignant piece. =] Keep on writing. all the best and take care. 5/5 ~Marian

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