I cant hold on

Sitting here just wasting away
my only fear is to see a new day
pick up a gun, it's not worth it though
exchange the gun for a mike and we'll start the show
i cant hold on
i cant hold on to this
the good times that i missed
i must be strong
as temptation fills the air
with intoxicating fear
what have i done?
i sit here with this gun to my head
feels like I'm killing my loved ones instead
my words seem like an ongoing groan
see someone els in the reflection as they sing a new tone