View from Afar

Everything has unraveled before my eyes

Before, everything was so simple, so easy..

But now, as I step outside,

I take in myself

From afar

Once joyous eyes

Are deathlike

Once healthy skin

Is scarred

By the pain of my existence

Or, in better words, the nightmare

This pain I feel

Cannot be described

It is tearing me apart

I found out today

That I have a wonderful life

I am blessed

I found this out

From someone that used to be alive

But they died

Before I found out why

This war going on inside

Has destroyed me externally

Its only a matter of time

Until I can breathe again

My happy dreams

Are filled with the deaths

Of my family members

The sad ones

Are filled with the blood of my veins

Drawn by my own hands

No one understands

So why bother?

Why have hope?

Insanity is my only escape

So as I sit here

I hear nothing but screams

Are they my own?

.or my bretheren?

Or does it even matter?

There is a song, I recall, that warns against pain

It says to hold on

Because there is always more

Whoever wrote that song

Should go kill themselves

Because its NOT TRUE.