Untimely Sin

The reverberant cries linger in my heart
The darkest parts of my soul, I want to impart
Twisted thoughts within a disturbed mind
Make it impossible to leave the past behind

Vivid images and familiar voices disappear so quick,
I am left just there standing with a rusty ice pick
Clenched ever so tightly in my broken, swollen hand
Challenging everything that I just can not understand.

Chromatic blood still thick upon my sharpened knife
Still in doubt, that I had willingly took this man's life
I let my bruised body tremble and slightly shake
Not sure of how much more that I could take

Armed with an ice pick, sharp knife, and a wounded soul
I set in search for answers to questions I did not know
Why Am I having to live though this sickening waste
What is that with the bitter-sweet flavor that I taste

Is it ignorance, self pity, perhaps it is hate and greed
We all have insatiable demons that we have to feed
Why I am the only one standing knee deep in pain
Trying my damnedest not to be caught, crying in the rain

Blood stained are my hands, blood stained remains
How I am going to get rid of these crimson stains
Finally free of his frequent, cruel, twisted abuse
Finally from his tangled chains, I have broke loose

For my freedom, I tarnished my insufferable soul
Gave of myself, things that I had and did not know
I have taken something evil, removing it from life
I buried it, in shallow gave, the marker is my knife

I did not bow my head, but I mumbled a prayer
Now thinking of his icy cold eyes, his wicked glare
Twitching with an impending unrelenting fear
I refused to shed one single sorrow-filled tear

In the tub of hot water, I soaked for hours on end
Trying to purge the sin that resides deep within
Joint hanging loosely in my trembling painted lips
Off in another word, the match burns my fingertips.

I inhaled deeply, trying not to cough away my smoke
Life has to be nothing but a sick, twisted joke
Everything in reality twisted as though it does seem
Is always reflected in the vividness of a terrifying dream

I let my mind wonder for quite some time
Tracing images back in the recesses of my mind
Unable to forget what I had unmercifully done
I reached in the dresser, and rummaged for my gun

I got down on both knees, bowing to the floor
I do not want to be plagued by this guilt anymore
Placing it to my temple, I held my breath
Joining my husband in his untimely death